remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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