are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
