I want to stick my p in your. b.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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