Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
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