i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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