i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
