We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
