I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
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