Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Randomize
