I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
