Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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