What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
