it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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