so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
After tacos, we're chasing women.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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