so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
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