worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
