I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
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