she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
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