I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
What a dumb baby whore.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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