White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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