she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
