how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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