Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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