What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
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