he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Randomize
