the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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