I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
Randomize
