how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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