I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
