why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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