So many bounce houses so little time
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
