Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Randomize
