Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
