bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Randomize
