I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
