So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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