Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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