It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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