So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
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