i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
Randomize
