dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize