Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
