Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Impromptu road trip to New Orleans for four days of Mardi Gras. I'll probably be alive and back for Valentine's Day plans, probably won't stick my dick in some random either-might be using my free pass you cheating asshat. Love you. Expect random texts & probably a drunk dial or twelve. You did this to yourself. You're not invited so don't bother. Have fun at work.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
