i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I am spending my child support on dildos
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Randomize
