I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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