i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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