And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
