We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
