oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
