You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
