The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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