Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
