I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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