Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Great, now I'm picturing myself as a fucking garden gnome
Randomize
