We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize