Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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