508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
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