it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Im part way to drunk.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Randomize
