And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
