you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
Randomize
