phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
