I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
be right there i have to get my cape
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
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