just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
