Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Randomize
