I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Randomize