But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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