with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
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