u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
You made out with two different species that night
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
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