you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
