wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
