is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I can't turn off my feet"
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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