Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize