doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
