I met the friendliest cop last night
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
