Cold hands, warm shart.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
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