I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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