well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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