There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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